If someone were to tell you that you had the power to grant one wish for your children’s lives, what would you choose? Take a few moments to ponder that question. Would your answer be unlimited wealth or perfect health? Would your wish be that they become famous athletes or powerful ‘influencers’? Or would you want to ensure that they are surrounded by a loving spouse and family, or a close group of trusted friends? Would you wish an easy life for them or a life of fulfillment? Would heaven be on your short list for the one wish?
If you are a young parent raising young children, you are probably focused on making sure they are staying out of the road, keeping up in school, eating their vegetables, and making new friends. As time moves so quickly, as many of us more seasoned parents can attest, you will soon be sending your kids out into the world to make lives of their own.
So, for those of us with kids still in the home, or still looking to us for insight and support, we must take the time to decide what type of lives we hope for our children, and then parent in a way that will make that life a possibility for them. We must parent today with that end-goal in mind. We must focus on the long-game and not get distracted by the pressures and influences of the popular culture.
If you answered that you would like your child to be a famous athlete or a powerful influencer, you should spend much of your parenting energy ensuring that your child receives all of the sports training, acting/voice lessons, etc. necessary to attract the attention of the power-brokers in those industries. Use your financial resources to assist your child to develop the required skill sets and travel as far and wide as necessary to achieve the goal, no matter what.
If you answered that you would grant your child unlimited wealth, make sure that money is your focus and that your children know that excellent grades and an Ivy League education is the only path to happiness. Model wealth accumulation and lavish lifestyles to your kids over generosity.
If an easy life was on your short list, start today by giving your child most of what they ask for and work hard to remove all the difficulties from their lives. Keep the bar of expectation low and make sure that you acquire enough wealth over your lifetime to allow your children to be financially comfortable regardless of their life choices.
After 30 or 40 (or more) years of experiencing life’s struggles and joys, traumas and celebrations, most of us would not wish those lives for our children. We know well that the lives of many famous athletes, actors, and influencers are replete with divorce, dependency, and often untimely death. By glancing at the headlines, we understand that many extremely wealthy families share these same struggles. We understand that real happiness does not come from fame or wealth or an easy life, but from family, personal relationships, fulfilling work, doing for others, and faith in God.
What must our parenting look like to give our children a chance for a life that includes most or all of these characteristics? Unfortunately, more is caught than taught from a child-rearing perspective, so whatever parents value, our children will most likely value as well. Do we value family time enough to prioritize dinner together as a family three or more times per week if possible? Are we willing to set our hobbies and our phones aside to spend quality, carefree time just being with our children? Do we treat our spouse with the love and respect they deserve, even after the honeymoon period has ended? Do you think of your spouse’s needs or those of your friends and neighbors ahead of your wants and preferences?
Personal relationships can be difficult, and risky, but the human person is wired for human interaction. If someone were to ask your children how often their parents meet with family and friends or others in the community in-person versus on the phone or over digital media, how would they respond? Bring your kids along when you cultivate these relationships to allow them to learn from you how to interact with people and the value those interactions bring to your life.
Our children must be taught (and shown) that life is not easy, and we must work hard to reach our full potential. Are we modeling that life is all about leisure and vacations, and the work time in between is just a necessary evil? Finding a career field and/or volunteer work that matches our passions and skill sets may lead to extreme wealth or power but will, more importantly, allow us to make a difference in the lives of people around us.
Does your child know how important God is in your life or how many times you have leaned on Him during times of joy or sorrow? Are we modeling prayer at home at mealtime or before bed and attending weekly church services? Or have we compartmentalized God, tucking Him away until the next time we need Him, and assuming our children will figure God out for themselves?
Take some time to decide what is truly important in life, then be diligent in modeling those priorities within your family. You have the power to change the world for the better for generations to come.