There is something uniquely simple and joyful about Mother’s Day. I had the privilege of attending the graduation of my middle son from college recently, and it reminded me of the great privilege and responsibility that motherhood is. Given all of the confusion and hysterics in the popular culture of late regarding sexuality / genders / identities, etc., motherhood retains its uniqueness and power. Although all women are not called to be mothers (either by birth or adoption), motherhood is a profoundly sacred yet tangible vocation that shapes and defines our world.
I have been blessed to have many strong and compassionate ‘mother-figures’ in my life, including my mom, my grandmothers, many aunts, my mother-in-law, and others. These women have taught me many nuggets of wisdom through the years; when we welcomed our first baby into our family, my mother and mother-in-law were at my side, guiding me through the struggles and wonders of being a mother to this helpless and dependent baby. I was overwhelmed by the incredible miracle that lay next to me and the complexity of the task in front of me. They taught me patience and that I needed to trust myself because God had gifted me with everything I needed to be a perfect mom for this little one. They also helped me understand and appreciate that life is a gift, and I was entrusted to protect and celebrate that gift. Eventually, with their encouragement, I began to realize that I had a unique role to fill in the lives of my children, that no one, not even their father, could fill.
As kids grow up, there are other challenges that moms need to contend with, from discipline, to friend groups, to medical issues, to schoolwork. In navigating the ups and downs of family life, moms naturally approach these issues from a relationship-first perspective. We know who our children are, like no one else does, and this knowledge directs our approach to guiding them through the successes, failures, and mountains they must climb.
Moms quickly realize that to do the job well, motherhood requires extreme selflessness. In raising five kids, there was very little time to focus on myself. In retrospect, I believe that too is a blessing. Many of the difficulties that our young people face today revolve around obsessing on self. Turning outward and committing your life to assisting others in need is a great way to minimize anxiety, body image issues, social media angst, keeping up with the Jones’s, etc., etc. The women in my life have also modeled for me that selflessness should include others in my community, beyond my family.
Motherhood also requires strength; this incredible strength was modeled to me by so many women in my life. Women in very difficult marriages, who wake up to loneliness each day, but who choose to stay married for the sake of their children and the commitment they made; women who struggle with sick or disabled children, over years or even lifetimes, with positivity and perseverance; women who have watched one or more of their children go down destructive paths, but who continue to pray and hope and wait for them to come back; women who give of themselves, every day, even if it is not flashy, or sexy or profitable.
As I have watched my children grow and have experienced the exhilaration and heartbreak of seeing them move out into the world, I thank God again for the gift of motherhood. Mike has pointed out to me that weeks or even months before a graduation or sending a child off to college or their first apartment, that I will go through a grieving process, in little ways, as I psychologically and emotionally prepare to let go. A mother’s heart is a very real thing, and it can be filled to overflowing in the good times and be squeezed tight in the struggles.
Young women in today’s world have many options available to them – they can literally be anything they want to be. As you weigh your options and pursue your dreams, consider motherhood as part of that path. You can create life and love in the process.