Last week, our next-door neighbors stopped by to let us know that they were moving to a condo across town and that they would be putting their house up for sale in the next couple of days. They had shared with us several times over the past couple of years that with getting older and some health issues, they were struggling to keep up with house maintenance, yard work, etc. Still, we were sad to hear the news, and we shared some hugs and a few tears.

As our neighbors for nearly 30 years, they had literally watched our kids grow up. We shared many laughs, we helped each other out hundreds of times, and we grew very accustomed to having ‘family’ living next door. I shared with Mike a distinct memory of the kids playing baseball in the backyard; occasionally, a ball would go into their yard, and I happened to be looking out the window when our 10-year-old ran over to grab the wiffle ball. As he approached the ball that was under a bush, the neighbor’s window opened, and our dear friend shared a plate of fresh-baked cookies on a paper plate for all six or seven kids that were playing together. My heart was full at that moment, and I thanked God for the blessing of wonderful neighbors.

We were also blessed to have many kids in the neighborhood when our children were young. They played outside together for hours at a time, playing sports, riding bikes, watching movies, or just hanging out and talking. There were many different personalities in the group, and we were not best friends with all the families, but the kids managed to get along very well most of the time and were able to find activities that included the entire group. Fresh air, exercise, imagination and in-person social interaction were just a few of the benefits for the kids involved.

But times have changed, you say. Families are having fewer kids these days and are too busy with work and school and daycare and activities to just hang out in the neighborhood. It may be true that the ‘Go outside and be back by dark’ ship has sailed, but might it be possible to rediscover the value of neighborhood communities?

The first step in the process will be to re-think our isolation mentality. When Mike and I were walking this past summer on a beautiful sunny day, he jokingly asked me if we missed the city-wide evacuation order; his point was that the streets were empty, the garage doors were all closed, and there was a very disconnected feel in the neighborhoods that we traversed. People do not thrive in isolation. We are built to be in relationship with others. What better place to build those connections than with our neighbors?

Do you know your neighbors? Have you made an attempt to get to know them? A friendly ‘Good morning,” can eventually lead to short conversations. Ask them about their family and the work they do, and let them know that you are there for them if they need to borrow a cup of sugar or to watch over their house if they go on vacation. For a new arrival in the neighborhood, go old-school and bring over some baked goods (store-bought works). Welcome them to your neighborhood community and offer to be a resource for them if they have any questions on garbage pickup or the like. Our son recently bought a house in Appleton, and at least four different neighbors stopped by to say hello or to bring bread or a plant. Needless to say, those simple acts of kindness made his transition much easier, and he feels very settled there.

If you are raising young kids, get outside! Go for walks in your community and say hello to those you meet. When you meet other families with children, introduce yourself and offer to have a play-date at your home. Have the kids and the parents over the first time and set up on the back deck or on the driveway. Keep things casual so that everyone is treated more like family and less like invited guests. This will lower the stress level for all involved and will help your neighbors to feel comfortable enough to stop by and chat or play again in the future. Encourage your kids to play outside regularly and leave the garage door open. Set the tone in your neighborhood as welcoming and full of life. Consider having a block party. Again, make it simple. Potluck style works well, and a little bit of music will make it a party.

When your neighbor is in need, or tragedy strikes, be there for them. Offer to mow their lawn or rake the leaves, or take the garbage out, or move the heavy furniture from one room to the other. Bring over dinner or maybe just show up and listen. This all takes effort, but the payback is immeasurable.

Now make no mistake, you will not be close with all your neighbors, and maybe not even most of them. But just a few great neighbors will make a tremendous impact on the quality of life for both you and your children. When we shared the news of our neighbors moving with our kids, they all responded with disappointment and sadness, even though several of our kids are no longer living with us. We again thanked God for the blessing of great neighbors.