Wherever one looks on social media, whether it be YouTube, TikTok, Instagram or Podcasts, influencers are now all the rage. Although ‘influencers’ have been around for centuries (stage performers, preachers, movie stars, politicians, etc.) social media has allowed individuals to gather immense audiences and then leverage that following to sell products and advertising. And, unfortunately, most of today’s influencers have a far more negative impact on our children than positive.
The voices your kids are following every day are pedaling everything from how to look sexually appealing, how to dress the same, how to intimidate others, how to make a million dollars quickly, how to be popular, where to buy the must have technology / toys, and how to become an influencer yourself. Our kids are taught to spend every waking moment focused on themselves and how they can get a step above their classmates or their peers. If you become like the influencer, they are led to believe, they will have the life of their dreams, and they will be happy.
However, if you follow the life of the average rich, powerful, and/or famous influencer, tragedy is sure to rear its ugly head, usually sooner than later. How often do we read about an A-list actress that dies of an overdose, or a professional athlete arrested for domestic abuse, or a quickly rising politician exposed for involvement in some sordid sexual deviancy. In spite of this knowledge, many of us parents, sometimes intentionally and sometime unwittingly, encourage our young people to idolize these tragic figures.
Some of us are intensely invested in a particular sports team and we aggrandize the most talented players in spite of their moral and social shortcomings or thuggery. Others of us obsess on singers or actors / actresses and pay large sums to attend a concert or other live event, even if they dress inappropriately or promote drug use and other dangerous lifestyles. In all these cases, our children are watching and learning from us. We need to ask ourselves why we are so intrigued by these famous people, and, if we know they are slowly destroying themselves, we must be cautious about how much of our time and energy we invest in them. We must also say out loud to ourselves that we do not want our child to become one of these influencers, because if they do, the odds of their lives turning out well are very small.
At this point, we need to assure you that you did not misread the headline of this article. Yes, you should teach your kids to be influencers, but not the social media kind of influencer. Teach your kids, by example, to be a positive power in the lives of people around them.
Sometimes influencing requires you to do something, and sometimes influencing requires you to do nothing. If your social group spends too much time gossiping about or disparaging others, consider staying quiet during those conversations or try switching topics. Your silence / disinterest will send a subtle but strong message about respecting others. If your friend group drinks too much, have a drink or two and then pass if you are offered additional beverages over the course of the night. Continue to be the life of party without having to be intoxicated.
As you talk with your children about the dynamics of their friend groups, give them suggestions as to how they can quietly be a positive influence. If the friend group is engaging in questionable activities, have your child organize a movie night, or bowling, or a trip to the mall. Let them know that being a positive influence can be challenging and will often require courage. Defending that student who is being unjustly bullied or criticized, or even deflecting attention from that individual is not easy, but one person can make a life changing impact.
Demonstrate through your words and actions that you treat everyone with respect, even during those difficult interactions. Acknowledge and share a smile with the cashier, the customer service representative on the phone, and even the door-to-door salesperson that knocks on your door selling pest control or lawn care. Stay calm and upbeat if someone leads with aggressive political opinions that differ from your own. In some cases, staying quiet will shut them down, and other times you can let that individual know that your opinions are different, but you would be open to having an amicable conversation over coffee. More is caught than taught when it comes to your kids’ development, and they will catch your positivity.
Is God an important part of your life and your worldview? Do you ever take the opportunity to share God with others? The world is desperate for meaning and direction that only God can provide. Or, be God’s hands and feet by being present to others in the good times and the bad times.
The world does not need another Beyonce or Sean Diddy Combs or Kim Kardashian. But it does need your positive influence in your corner of the world. You may not have a million followers, but your life will positively impact millions as your influence ripples through time, and through your children and grandchildren, long after you are gone.