Although Mike and I do not consider ourselves old, we are well aware that opinions on that fact may vary, particularly if you ask anyone under the age of 30. Fortunately, with those decades of experience and ‘seasoning’ comes a certain amount of wisdom. Some of this wisdom was the acquired by learning from our mistakes (sometimes making the same mistake more than once); some things we learned from parents and grandparents who we trusted more than social media or other trend setters; in some instances, we were smart enough to ask God for input and even smarter to do what we felt he was guiding us to do. So, for the benefit of those who have not lived long enough to learn what we have, following are some random things we’ve learned.
As a young person, it is easy to be distracted by careers and hobbies and money and things. At the end of the day, however, life is about people: spending time with people, learning and sharing with others, assisting them through the joys and the tough spots in life.
Men and women are very different, and not just physically. Men and women experience life from very diverse filters emotionally, psychologically, and relationally. These differences are what allow marriages and families to thrive. Over time, married people will begin to understand some of these differences, will struggle with some of these differences, and will be forever mystified by most of these differences.
The first child a couple has is definitely one of the most life-changing events a person can experience, and for the most part, there is no rule book. Parents need to learn as they go, trusting their gut and sacrificing themselves for the betterment of their child. Unfortunately, as every child that follows will possess a unique personality and a unique set of challenges, the learning and adjusting never ends.
The United States of America is the by far the greatest country in the world, built on the God-given rights and responsibilities of the individual, and we are blessed to live here. The economic prosperity available here is a plus, but the freedoms and opportunities available to our children and future generations are indispensable for personal fulfillment and following God’s call. If something needs changing, we can vote in the change. We are the US of A.
Life is hard. People get sick and hurt and people die. We are taught as young people that the world should serve us, but we learn very quickly that it does not. The more we try to avoid the difficulties and unpleasantries of life, the more secluded and fearful and depressed we become. We should live life aggressively and surround ourselves with people. Life will still be hard, but it will be full of joy and wonder.
Babies and kids are awesome. They are bursting with life and wonder and authenticity. Take a walk in the woods with a two-year-old and just watch them experience life. Sit quietly with a tuckered-out toddler and feel their heartbeat, their trust, and their innocence. Learning something new every day and taking the time to see the ordinary in extraordinary ways keeps life interesting and makes us better.
Most people in the world are good, but we need to look for the good. We are all broken, and some of us have been dealt a really crappy hand, so sometimes the good is hard to find. Smile and be kind to everyone you meet, and give them the benefit of the doubt, even when they are not having their best day or making the best choices. We are all on a journey, and the journey often feels more like a roller coaster than an up escalator.
Gossip sucks. If we have a beef with a friend, or family member, or neighbor, talking behind their backs is cowardly, disrespectful, and accomplishes nothing. Do not pass along degrading or embarrassing news about someone else that serves no constructive purpose for the person receiving the news. If we need to knock someone else down to build ourselves up, neither of us are progressing. Biting the tongue makes us better and shows compassion for the other.
Life goes fast. Really fast. That does not mean that we should try to have as much fun as possible or focus entirely on ourselves – in fact, just the opposite is true; if we focus on sacrificing our lives for others, life will not slow down, but we will have no regrets when our time here is done.
Do not sweat the small stuff. We can easily be overwhelmed by what we perceive are critical responsibilities and necessities in life. We should re-evaluate that list on a regular basis and simplify life as much as possible. When bad times come a-knockin’, as they surely will, move forward with confidence and conviction and faith, taking one day at a time. As the country song goes, “if you’re going through hell, just keep on going” as this too shall pass.
God is most important, and God is good. As we grow older, we begin to understand His ways more clearly. We need to love deeply, focus on our neighbors instead of ourselves, and keep the end goal in mind. God wants what is best for us now and for eternity, so if we stay close to Him, seek His guidance, and follow where He leads—even when it is difficult—all will be well.
So, to all the young people out there who would call us old, put down the social media and get busy living. Perhaps you can learn these lessons before you are old, like us.